Stupid Muggle Magazine
by Doodle6721
Summary: James needs help. With a girl. And he's desperate. So desperate he is willing to go to Lily for help. ONE-SHOT!


**_My first ever Harry Potter fanfiction! WOOO! AND my first ever one-shot! WOOO!  
The song is called 17 Magainze by Relient K.  
At one point in the song it says Jessica but I swapped it with Lily. I also cut a few repeated sections._**

**_Hopefully you like it!_**

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_Talked to my sister late last night._

_And she gave me some advice._

_And what she said was right._

_Talked to my sister late last night._

_I said I've got her on my mind._

_She said it's good I know my kind._

"Hey." I poked my head into Lily's room. Normally I wouldn't be caught dead in a room too pink for my liking, but I was desperate.

Lily hid her face behind on of her magazines, because whatever she was reading was _way_ more important than talking to her older brother. "For the millionth time James, no, I haven't seen your invisibility cloak."  
"Nah, it's not that." My lovely (not the sarcasm) sister lowered her magazine, arching one of her eyebrows. "It's… a girl."  
"What girl is it this week James?" She rolled her eyes and flipped the page.

"The same girl it has been for the past 4 months," I stared down at the floor, turning red and feeling like a complete pansy.

"Well, I'm a girl, so I guess I could help you with your _girlfriend_." Lily patted the comforter on her bed, ushering me to sit down. "She a Gryffindor?" I nodded. "Fifth year, like you?"

"Fourth year..." I mumbled.

_And maybe this time,_

_Maybe she's just the one you need._

_Keep taking your time,_

_You shouldn't go for her full speed. _

_And maybe this time,  
maybe she's just the one you need._

"What's her name?"

"Eloise Wood."

"Rose's best friend? She plays beater with you on the Quidditch team right?"

I nodded.

"Well, that's a good start."

I scrunched my eyebrows for I don't speak girl and have no idea what my thirteen year old sister is talking about.  
Rolling her eyes again, Lily sighed and explained, "You are a beater. She is a beater. You work together. Obviously you have to trust each other to work together and win. And our undefeated season this year is telling me that you guys have a decent amount of faith in each other. Besides she is Rosie's friend… that must help you out in some way…"

"So she likes me and I should just go for it?"

"No you twit! You have to ease into it! You don't want to scare the poor girl! Isn't hard enough on Eloise to have an arse like you going after her!"

_Cause I know that I've never seen_

_your motives more squeaky clean,_

_And my 17 magazine tells me_

_That you're in love. _

"I just really want it to work out." I sighed. "Every time she looks at me I just want to hold her hand. And when I hear the guys talk about her, Merlin! I just want to hex them back to last Tuesday!"

"Wow…"

"What?"

Lily pointed down at her magazine, "According to this article… you have it bad."

_Lily told me that I should take a quiz._

_10 yes or no questions to tell me what love really is._

_I searched for my answers,_

_I lied and said I like nsync._

_They said my middle name's Don Juan,_

_And I'm sure of myself I think._

"Here." She shoved her "holy bible" into my lap. "Take the quiz."

**5 minutes later**

"James… really?"

"What?"

"You hate N SYNC. And since when is your favorite movie The Notebook? You're supposed to take this seriously!"

"I am taking it seriously! My name is James _Sirius _Potter after all." I smirked at my clever pun.

"Really? Cause it says right here that you name is James _Don Juan_ Potter."

"I'm a man of many names."

"How girls find you attractive is beyond me..." Lily mumbled to herself, as she analyzed the rest of my quiz.

_Cause I say if you're asking me,_

_Love is sacred love is sweet,_

_And my 17 magazine tells me_

_That you're in love._

"Are the results in yet?"

Lily clutched the magazine to her chest and turned to me dramatically. "You. Are. In. Love!"

"What do I do about it?"

Lily flipped through her pages, scanning each and every word. "Um… that's not until the next issue."  
I slapped my palm to my forehead and sighed. "Lovely," I thought, "Just lovely."

_My 17 magazine_

_My 17 magazine_

_My 17 magazine tell me_

_That you're in love_


End file.
